Sometimes we are called Ladyboys but I prefer to be just called a woman.
I am about to join MyLadyboyCupid as I am looking for a foreign man to date. It’s hard to find a man in Thailand who understands Transgender women. So, my friends and I think it’s best to be a member of a specialized T-girl dating site such as MyLadyboyCupid. Such a site is specifically aimed at Transgender women and men who want to get to meet them.
I have to make a profile to put on the dating site and am just thinking what to write. I have so much to tell you about me and my life being a Trans woman in Thailand. But trying to put it all into just a few words is quite difficult.
I was born in Bangkok and am 23 now. Most Thai people have nicknames given by their parents and mine is Pim. My given name is Rachada.
I am the third child in a family of five children and the first two children in my family were both females. In fact, both of my two older sisters dated and married foreign men and one of them now lives in Germany.
From as early as I can remember I knew I was different. I didn’t know why and, of course, had never heard of Transgender people or Ladyboys. All I know is that I liked to dress up in my sisters’ clothes from the time I was about 3 or 4. I’d so this when they or my mother were not around. Sometimes I was caught wearing a dress or skirt and top but my sisters never really scolded me or told me off. I guess it’s just the Thai way. As long as you are not doing any harm to anyone it is “sabai sabai”.
One day when I was about 9, I heard about a festival at a nearby temple on the following Saturday. Maybe it was to celebrate Thai New Year or some other big event, I’m not sure. I was told there would be a Transgender beauty pageant as part of the celebrations. The friend who told me also explained what Trans people were all about. A pageant like this is not uncommon in Thailand as people love to be entertained. And Thai people love soap operas and beauty pageants. Children as young as 6 or 7 join beauty pageants or shows and no-one really thinks negatively about it.
First, I told my oldest sister that I wanted to enter the Transgender pageant and asked her to ask my mother. My sister looked at me with a smile and asked, “Are you a Ladyboy then?” She paused. “Hmm…, I remember you always like to dress up in my clothes when I’m out, right?”
I pretended to be shocked at her question but didn’t answer her directly. All I know is that, since I had found out about the pageant, I had the most wonderful feeling of realization. Almost as if a wave of euphoria was passing over me. I remember thinking: Aaah…., that’s why I feel different. I may be only young but I know I am not really male. I am a female. I am a Transgender.
My sister asked me again about being a Ladyboy, but I just replied, “Please ask mother for me. And, oh…., can you help me with my make-up and to get ready?”
Aaah…., that’s why I feel different. I may be only young but I know I am not really male. I am a female. I am a Transgender.
At first, my mother wouldn’t agree as my father said no but, finally, after some persuasion she agreed. To this day I owe a huge debt of thanks to both of my sisters as I heard them talking to my father about me and my feminine ways. They helped change my life for the better.
For the week leading up to the pageant I was in such a state of turmoil. I was so excited I could hardly eat. I slept badly too as every dream I had I was about getting dressed up. Walking on stage in my dress and showing myself to the world as a female.
On the day of the pageant, the thrill of putting on female clothes and getting made-up was almost too much for me. My knees were shaking and my stomach muscles jumping up and down uncontrollably. But, after my sister had helped add hairpieces to my hair and I looked in the mirror. I almost started crying, For the first time in my life, I saw me. The true me. An attractive (even though I was still younger than 10) young woman.
Whether I was a Ladyboy or Transgender didn’t matter. I just knew there and then that I had to eventually live my life as a woman. Of course, at that age I had no idea what that entailed and what I needed to do to achieve my goals. But I just knew that was my destiny.
As for the beauty pageant, it went far better than I could have ever dreamed. As I sashayed up to the steps onto the stage some sort of mysterious feeling came over me. Almost as if all of my maleness disappeared and I became 100% female. My mannerisms, my body language, the way I walked all changed. It felt, oh, so natural to be standing there in front of hundreds of people presenting as a young woman.
Not only that, but I won the under 12 section of the pageant for “the most beautiful Ladyboy”. My Transgender journey had truly begun.
I will tell you more next time, so keep a lookout on MyLadyboyCupid for the rest of my story.