As my plane touched down at Manila International Airport, one of the first things which came into my mind was how much I owe MyLadyboyCupid for the way I am living now.
I had just landed back in my home country after 4 years away in the US. My name is Janet and my American husband is sitting by my side.
Growing up in The Philippines is difficult at the best of times. Growing up as a Transgender woman is even harder.
Of course, when I was young, I didn't know I was a Trans woman, I just knew I felt different to other young boys. Quite why I didn't know. But there were things that people picked up on such as I never liked “rough and tumble” games or playing contact sports. Some people said I was a delicate child, others said I acted in a slightly feminine way. Yet others commented upon the fact that I was always playing with the girls.
The Philippines is a very macho society where many men portray an image of bravado. You know, acting tough, admiring big, fast cars or bikes, carrying a gun and always, always being seen to be chasing women.
I didn't like any of those things. If I wasn't playing with the girls, I really enjoyed playing by myself. We had a very big house and it was easy to disappear for hours at a time. When I could I'd get into my sisters or mother's dressing room and slip on a skirt and top or nice summer dress. I'd find some shoes that were not overly big and try them on and prance around admiring myself in one of the mirrors. I had never heard of Transgender women or Trans women or T-girls, but I knew I that I loved to dress up as a young girl. It just made me feel good. Made me feel right.
As I got to be around 9 or 10 I found I was dressing up more frequently. I was also more aware of where the rest of my family were on days I wanted to dress. And I tried to plan for times when I knew most of them, if not all, were out. With more frequency came more experience and soon I was wearing a padded bra and panties with, perhaps, a lovely slip which helped accentuate my girly shape. I also started using some light make-up, mainly just foundation, blusher and lipstick.
Fortunately for me, my parents had allowed me to grown my hair a little longer than usual as this was the fashion at the time. I really did look like the epitome of a young woman. I desperately longed to go out of my house and see if I could pass in public for an adolescent young woman.
I never realized or even thought that there might be others like me until one day when I was about 13, I heard the wordTrans-pinay” when I was at school. I overheard some older boys discussing a very attractive young woman in their class whose name was Roslynn. One said she was Trans-pinay and another called her a Trans girl.
Needless to say, such talk fascinated me and I went out of my way to look for Roslynn as often I could. To me she just looked like a “normal” girl who hung around with other girls at school. One key difference though was she that was so beautiful. Slightly taller than most other Filipinas, who tend to be shorter and stockier in build. Roslynn also had a really great figure.
I really wanted to go and talk to her but in the early days never quite got the chance or the courage. But what I did do was start searching through this new thing which everyone was talking about called the internet. To my great surprise, with a little patience, I found articles about Trans-pinay. These led me to things about T-girls and on to articles and reports about Transgender women. In fact, it is fair to say that I was astonished that there were so many other girls like me. The church had always told us that there were only men and women and no other types of people. They'd also told us that the only love could be between a man and woman.
But I found details of Trans-pinay beauty pageants, photos of Transgender beauties in TV shows and in movies, as well as information about T-girl societies which provided help to each other. I even discovered dating sites such as MyLadyboyCupid which specializes in linking up Transgender women with men who adore and love them.
As young as I was, I knew, just knew, I was Transgender. That was what the feeling of being different was all about. When I was about 18-19, I vowed to myself that, one day I would live full time as a woman and joined a site such as MyLadyboyCupid to find a man who loved me for what I am.
I still had a long way to go, for sure, and I guessed the road ahead would not be an easy one. Still, I felt happy in that I had a plan to live my life as a Trans-pinay, albeit I still had to work out how to execute my plan!
Read the next part of my story to fund out how I achieved my goals and dreams of being a fully-fledged woman….